A Lesson in Spontaneity
How my mind works: This research paper is due the week after Thanksgiving Break. Next week is Thanksgiving Break. Paper must be done this week.
In case you were wondering (I know, I know—you weren't. Stick with me anyway.), that’s how I function on a regular basis. Is it healthy? Probably not, but that doesn’t matter because my study habits aren’t the core of this post. I just wanted to give you a little background to put this lesson I learned into perspective. Okay? Cool. Here’s the meat (well, actually, a little more backstory and then the meat):
So, flashback to Tuesday, and I have a big paper to write with a due date that I’ve set for myself of Friday. My Tuesdays are pretty much free after my class ends at 3:30, so the goal that afternoon was to get a significant portion of that paper written. Totally doable. I was psyching myself up for it and everything.
Then during the break, my phone rang. Enter: Jenna. (Side note: Jenna is a girl on my hall who is actually also from Bluffton. We didn’t know each other before, but now she’s one of my best friends on campus. Crazy how God works, huh?) Our conversation went pretty much like this:
J: “Hey what are you doing?”
B: “I’m in class, but we’re on break right now. What do you need?”
J: “Oh… Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Fort Wayne, but I forgot you’re a homework freak and probably don’t want to come. It’s fine. You don’t have to!”
So I had a dilemma. Because I really did want to go to Fort Wayne. But I also had this clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach reminding me that I had promised myself I would get at least two pages of my research paper written that day. And I really just do not handle last-minute plans all that well.
So naturally I said yes.
As long as we could be back by 9:00.
We went to Fort Wayne, met her brother, did a little shopping. It was fun—I bought some cute things, went to Starbucks, and had a few good laughs with Jenna, her brother, and one of his friends. Aaaaaand all the while I basically just felt like I’d made a mistake. Because there was a research paper that was demanding to be written, and in my head I was not going to calm down until I could write it.
As promised, we left Fort Wayne around 8:00 so we could be back by 9:00 and I could work on my paper. Fun fact, though: Jenna’s radio is broken. Which means the entire drive home was filled with good conversation. We talked about life, about stress, about coping with both of the aforementioned things.
We talked about how different we are. How she avoids doing homework by going out and having fun. How I avoid going out and having fun by doing homework (that’s kind of but not really a joke ;) ). How she sees life from the point of view of “In the grand scheme of things, does this really matter?” and how I see life from the point of view of “How am I going to survive all the things I have to do tomorrow?”
When we got back to school, the logical thing for me to do would have been to make a beeline for my room so I could finish my paper, right? I was worried about it all evening.
But here’s the thing (and this is the core, folks, so pull it back in for this) :
I didn’t want to.
I wanted to keep talking.
Because really, what’s one paper in my freshman year of college as opposed to the opportunity to invest in someone I love?
So even though we were back by 9:00, I didn’t go into my room until 10:00. Because talking about life and love and loss with this girl who I didn’t even know four months ago was so much better than writing about the spiral of silence.
And whenever I did go back in my room, I felt okay with not doing my paper for just that one night. It would still be waiting on me in the morning.
A Lesson in Spontaneity:
Some things are so infinitely more important than the plans I make.
[[For the record, yes, that paper is finished. And it is Friday. So I made my personal due date. And I also made myself wait to write this post until the paper was finished. It’s a process, you know?]]
In case you were wondering (I know, I know—you weren't. Stick with me anyway.), that’s how I function on a regular basis. Is it healthy? Probably not, but that doesn’t matter because my study habits aren’t the core of this post. I just wanted to give you a little background to put this lesson I learned into perspective. Okay? Cool. Here’s the meat (well, actually, a little more backstory and then the meat):
So, flashback to Tuesday, and I have a big paper to write with a due date that I’ve set for myself of Friday. My Tuesdays are pretty much free after my class ends at 3:30, so the goal that afternoon was to get a significant portion of that paper written. Totally doable. I was psyching myself up for it and everything.
Then during the break, my phone rang. Enter: Jenna. (Side note: Jenna is a girl on my hall who is actually also from Bluffton. We didn’t know each other before, but now she’s one of my best friends on campus. Crazy how God works, huh?) Our conversation went pretty much like this:
J: “Hey what are you doing?”
B: “I’m in class, but we’re on break right now. What do you need?”
J: “Oh… Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Fort Wayne, but I forgot you’re a homework freak and probably don’t want to come. It’s fine. You don’t have to!”
So I had a dilemma. Because I really did want to go to Fort Wayne. But I also had this clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach reminding me that I had promised myself I would get at least two pages of my research paper written that day. And I really just do not handle last-minute plans all that well.
So naturally I said yes.
As long as we could be back by 9:00.
We went to Fort Wayne, met her brother, did a little shopping. It was fun—I bought some cute things, went to Starbucks, and had a few good laughs with Jenna, her brother, and one of his friends. Aaaaaand all the while I basically just felt like I’d made a mistake. Because there was a research paper that was demanding to be written, and in my head I was not going to calm down until I could write it.
As promised, we left Fort Wayne around 8:00 so we could be back by 9:00 and I could work on my paper. Fun fact, though: Jenna’s radio is broken. Which means the entire drive home was filled with good conversation. We talked about life, about stress, about coping with both of the aforementioned things.
We talked about how different we are. How she avoids doing homework by going out and having fun. How I avoid going out and having fun by doing homework (that’s kind of but not really a joke ;) ). How she sees life from the point of view of “In the grand scheme of things, does this really matter?” and how I see life from the point of view of “How am I going to survive all the things I have to do tomorrow?”
When we got back to school, the logical thing for me to do would have been to make a beeline for my room so I could finish my paper, right? I was worried about it all evening.
But here’s the thing (and this is the core, folks, so pull it back in for this) :
I didn’t want to.
I wanted to keep talking.
Because really, what’s one paper in my freshman year of college as opposed to the opportunity to invest in someone I love?
So even though we were back by 9:00, I didn’t go into my room until 10:00. Because talking about life and love and loss with this girl who I didn’t even know four months ago was so much better than writing about the spiral of silence.
And whenever I did go back in my room, I felt okay with not doing my paper for just that one night. It would still be waiting on me in the morning.
A Lesson in Spontaneity:
Some things are so infinitely more important than the plans I make.
[[For the record, yes, that paper is finished. And it is Friday. So I made my personal due date. And I also made myself wait to write this post until the paper was finished. It’s a process, you know?]]
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